My approach to counselling

Now, before we get to all the counselling words and fancy jargon, let me just say that a lot of new client-counsellor relationships start out slowly at first. Which makes sense because we need some time to build the relationship, trust and understanding that it's ok to talk about big things before we go deep.

Some clients just straight into the deep end while other clients take time to warm up to the idea. Both options are fine, the important message is: Take things at a pace that feels comfortable for you.

Often times sessions will start with something of an agenda in mind. Example: "Ok, I want to talk about x, y and z". And we'll start there. Other times, the goal is less about a specific topic and more about a feeling, or lack of a feeling. Which is ok too. I am more than comfortable working with that approach as well.

Either way, things may come up along the way and if the conversation goes in that new direction, then by all means, lets explore that. And if not, we can stick to the original plan.

Now, when it comes to the trauma stuff, a lot of my sessions follow this basic structure (called the Triphasic Model).

Phase 1 - Safety and Stabilisation

At this stage, emphasis is on:

Ensuring emotional, psychological, relational and physical safety by addressing any high risk behaviours, plans, intentions, or intrusive thoughts.
Building emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills (including the knowledge of, proficiency in, and timing of skills).
Establishing the relationship between the client and the counsellor (often called the therapeutic alliance).

Phase 2 - Memory and Processing/Mourning

During this phase, we get into the deeper issues that brought the client to therapy. What's happened in their lives that they want to explore, digest, understand or accept?

Phase 3 - Integration, Reconnection and Rehabilitation.

This is where the therapeutic outcomes come to light. During this phase, the client is actively working towards their goals and is starting to see the benefits of treatment. It's usually at this phase where the client is building enough proficiency and self-awareness to begin preparing stop therapy.